People these days, they walk around in a bubble. Lost in their music, texting their friends or frantically checking-in to the quirky hair salon they’ve just left. Can’t bear to miss an opportunity to show off their highly curated and successful lifestyle.
What they aren’t aware of are their surroundings.
You can use this to your advantage, keep your eyes peeled. Next week is SXSW and the tourists are in town. They’re spoilt little brats, never been in a fight all their lives, never seen a robbery before; you can use this to your advantage too.
This is how it goes down. Wear a hoodie and hang around downtown, somewhere between 4th and 8th. Stay away from the convention center because that’ll be crawling with cops—both the rental and the suinae variety—the alley between 6th and 7th at San Jacinto is perfect. Put your hood over your head and try to blend in. When you see them whip out an iPhone as they walk, simply approach them. If they don’t look you in the eyes, they won’t be able to identify you. Just another nigga in a hood.
Then Bam. A quick punch in the face. Turn off the phone; you don’t want to be tracked by the GPS.
Run to your car / bike a few blocks away and you’re clear.
Remeber two things, make sure you don’t steal any of that HTC shit though, resale value is pathetic, and the best targets are short Asian girls, because they’re easy to outrun.
That’s what my newphew tells me anyway, he does magic tricks on Castro St in Mountain View but when the cash gets tight he picks up a few iPhones, jumps on the Caltrain and discreetly sells them to people on Market Street in San Francisco.
Image: Rafael Poveda
